You know the symptoms of perimenopause…now let’s tend to your mental health

By the time many women arrive at perimenopause, the physical symptoms are already familiar. Changes in sleep, hot flashes, and shifting energy levels are often what bring this stage of life into focus. What is also taking place are the many mental and emotional changes that seem to catch women by surprise.

You may notice increased anxiety, lower mood levels, more irritability, difficulty concentrating and perhaps even changes in your relationships. You might feel less like yourself, without being able to fully explain why. For many women, this internal shift is the most distressing part of perimenopause and they no longer feel connected to the person they once were. What is often expressed during this time and what we often hear is women sharing that they ‘just don’t feel like themselves anymore.’

We know too well that a majority of women will report mental health concerns as they navigate perimenopause. Changes in hormones during perimenopause directly impact the brain systems responsible for mood, stress, and sleep regulation. As a result, many women notice increased anxiety, sadness, low mood levels, as well as difficulty concentrating, and a reduced capacity to cope with stress in the way they once did.

But by approaching this journey with self-compassion, mindfulness, as well as support, it is possible to move through this phase with a renewed sense of steadiness and self-understanding.

Being gentle with yourself: the power of self-compassion

First, it’s essential to acknowledge and validate your feelings. What you are experiencing is real and is a normal part of this life stage. Instead of fighting these feelings or questioning why they are happening, there is value in turning toward yourself with compassion. This means learning and practicing how to offer yourself kindness and compassion even when it might feel different. 

For instance, when you feel overwhelmed, you might pause and ask, “How can I tend to myself right now?” This is you attuning to your emotions and the answer may surprise you. Maybe it’s a calm activity like a quiet moment alone, a gentle walk or a yoga class, or perhaps it’s a good laugh or a night out with friends.

Whatever the answer is, know that it is meaningful to you and holding space for it without judgment and with self-compassion matters. Many individuals navigating perimenopause notice patterns of expectations toward themselves, thoughts such as “I should be handling this differently” can arise, and being able to reframe these thoughts can make all the difference between being critical toward yourself or being compassionate.  Approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) help gently identify and reframe these patterns, creating space for a more balanced and supportive internal dialogue.

Tuning in and finding stillness with mindfulness

This stage in life is a time to slow down and truly listen to your body and mind. Many women haven’t had the opportunity to truly slow down. Perhaps it’s the societal pressures, the invisible mental load or the caregiving that predominantly exists for women. However, this is a stage in life to begin putting yourself first, if you haven’t done so already, and mindfulness is a powerful practice for doing just that. By bringing your attention to the present moment, you can begin to notice your internal experience without immediately reacting to it.

This might look like taking a moment to enjoy the warmth of a cup of tea, the feeling of the sun on your skin, or the sound of the fresh blooms in spring. These small moments of presence can create a sense of grounding amidst internal shifts. These micro moments of mindfulness have a rippling effect on your nervous system and matter more than you think. Your mind cannot be in two places at once, and being able to focus on slowing down is key to centering yourself when life feels overwhelming. 

Know that mindfulness-based approaches are shown to support emotional regulation and reduce reactivity during the perimenopause journey.  Rather than getting caught in cycles of worry or frustration, mindfulness helps you relate to your thoughts and feelings with more space and steadiness. Slowly it begins to shift the way you interact with the world, feeling more grounded, steady and in control.  This is key during the many hormonal changes during this stage of life, and can allow you to hold these fluctuating emotions with steadiness. 

Community & Connection

There is strength in community and in sharing common experiences with others who are navigating a similar life journey as you. When you begin to open up and find people who truly understand you, you start to feel supported, heard, and validated. This sense of connection often comes from intentionally building relationships with those on a similar path, perhaps even forming new friendships and sharing meaningful experiences together.

These connections can have a powerful impact on your overall mental health by reducing feelings of isolation and creating a strong sense of belonging. When you engage with people who understand your challenges firsthand, it becomes easier to express yourself openly without fear of judgment. These environments encourage emotional release, helping to lower stress and anxiety. They also create space to exchange coping strategies, gain new perspectives, and feel reassured that you are not alone in what you’re going through. 

Feeling supported can also come from creating your own circle of care of like-minded practitioners, and one that can support your physical and mental health.  In terms of your mental health, connecting with a therapist who has the experience to support your perimenopause journey is essential.  Having this holistic care team allows you to feel supported in a unique way, as the mind and body are intertwined and cannot be separated. You deserve to be supported from a mind and body perspective. This can help you strengthen resilience, boost self-esteem, and provide a dependable support system that nurtures your overall well-being during the perimenopause stage. 

A more compassionate way to understand this transition

Embracing perimenopause with compassion is about more than just coping, it is about responding to yourself in a way that is supportive and sustainable.  This phase of life can be an invitation to slow down, to listen more closely to your body’s needs, and to reconsider patterns that may no longer be serving you. For many, it becomes a time of greater self-awareness, clearer boundaries, and a deeper connection to what feels meaningful.

Rather than viewing this moment as a loss, it can be understood as a transition, one that, with the right support, allows for growth and a more grounded relationship with yourself.  If you are noticing changes in your mood, anxiety, or overall well-being during perimenopause, you do not have to navigate this on your own. If you need additional support, connecting with a therapist can be a meaningful and important part of your journey. We are here for you whenever the time feels right.

Fernanda Villanueva, M.S.W., R.S.W.
Founder and Clinic Director

Bloom Well Therapy is a virtual therapy clinic specializing in women’s mental health. The clinic offers support for individuals navigating reproductive mental health transitions, including fertility, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, parenting & perimenopause 

Website: www.blooomwelltherapy.ca 

Instagram: @bloomwelltherapy